


Good Men and Good Intentions

by KingSubmar



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Extremely, F/M, Force-Sensitive Hux, Hux-centric, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:05:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingSubmar/pseuds/KingSubmar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux would prefer there be a galaxy between him and Ren, but when he discovers his force sensitivity, the Knight is insistent on training the General himself. </p><p>Previously 'Why'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakenings

“Lord Ren, all of our deadlines have been met and will continue to be met” Hux keeps his eyes forward and his voice flat, and doesn’t spare a glance at his unwanted companion as he makes his way through the _Finalizer_. His ears are filled with the sound of Ren’s steps beside him, alerting everyone within a few meters of their arrival. He pushes himself into the General’s space in less of an attempt to keep the conversation private and more in an effort to intimidate him. It doesn’t, but he can feel the heat coming off the other man, even underneath the thick black frock he always wears. It seems to coil around him, reaching up his nose and down his throat; he has to withhold the urge to physically push him away.

General Hux was initially indifferent with the knights of Ren.

He’d never given them much thought, they were merely acolytes to the true power that was Snoke. His crew however, responded noticeably to their presence. On the rare occasion one of them would require the use of his star destroyer, most likely to speak with the Supreme Leader, Hux could feel the curiosity and unease, spread through the ship. They would exit their shuttle carrying whatever unusual weapon they favored, brandishing it as they stalked through the halls. He remembers being confused and irritated as to how he was meant to communicate with people who preferred grunting to basic, as that was their usual response to his inquiries. Then he realized he didn’t need to, Hux and the First Order were at the forefront of the movement, the knights of Ren were merely the Supreme Leader’s dogs, and why waste time speaking to a dog, when he could go directly to its master. Then one of them was named overseer of the StarKiller base construction.

He nearly shakes apart with indignation every time he sees Kylo Ren looking over his shoulder, because what does the jedi killer know of weapons engineering?

But he didn’t let that show. Not even now as Ren walks beside him, spewing garbage about the time table. As if Hux doesn’t know the time table, he devised the thing.

 Ren is suddenly in front of him, causing Hux to stop short in order to avoid a collision, he uses his extra inch to loom over him in a way some may consider menacing. The heat is suffocating now, and there’s a pressure at the base of his skull but he makes himself stare into that ugly black mask because this was his ship, and Fuck Ren. “Everything needs to go perfectly in order for this to be a success, and nothing ever does. It’s time to start planning some contingencies before the hour grows too late.” The Knight says, then he spins away and Hux allows himself to roll his eyes and then regrets it as his headache grows, even as the strange pressure recedes. He has to take a moment to just breathe, clenching his hands into tight fists, an unusually strong reaction to the man’s usual antics. He cannot afford to let Ren start getting to him now he resolves, and goes about his day.

\--

But everything does go perfectly, and now Hux stands in one of the few observation towers built onto StarKiller, absentmindedly chewing on his nail while staring out at the blinding white of the planet surface. He’s tired. Many admirers had asked him how it felt to stand on his weapon, this first day of full operation. He responded with ‘hopeful’, and ‘humble’, and proud he could ‘serve the order in such a way’. He’s been here for months, ever since his rooms were finished but today is special, it ought to be special, they worked very hard for today. But he’s tired, and there was this weight in his chest that wouldn’t go away and his breaths were too short to sustain him. He catches his reflection in the thick glass, he looks older. He’s lost some of the softness in his face and there’s something different about his eyes, something that couldn’t exist in youth.

He thinks of the lieutenant lying very still in med bay, surrounded by personal effects and grimaces slightly. The report said she’d sustained brain damage, possibly permanent, from a prolonged lack of oxygen. She was young, and Ren must have been the thing of her nightmares. Malevolent, inhuman, Vader like. They’d all been told stories of the Emperor’s greatest weapon, and now they seemed a lot less silly.

He wonders if this is an indication, a sign maybe of how it’s always going to be, Hux on the precipice of glory only to be descended upon by this demon Kylo Ren.

And this is why that easy indifference has morphed into contempt. Because he has to actively stop him from destroying everything, because he was born with this power and no one questions whether he should have it, as if the fact that he does is enough. He doesn’t understand how the inability to control oneself can be interpreted as anything but weakness; the force seems more trouble than it’s worth and so does Ren.

He hears the sound of the lift to the tower ascending and he leans his forehead against the cool glass, letting his breath fan out for just a moment as a whole babble of emotions briefly overwhelms him, it’s either Phasma or Ren that’s come to disturb his peace and Phasma’s scheduled for a training exercise. He removes his finger from between his lips and folds his arms behind his back as the other man joins him at the top of the tower.

“This is not the time Ren” Hux says in warning, but he knew that. Everyone knew what it meant when he came here.

For once he leaves a respectable distance between him and the general, standing nearly two meters to his right. “I know you must be busy…celebrating your accomplishment” he mocks, “but I merely wished to pass on regards from the Supreme Leader before I take my leave, he is pleased with what you’ve done here and what it could bring to The First Order”

“That is very considerate, thank you” he says, disappointed that Snoke sent his apprentice instead of telling him, himself. He fixes his gaze on some trees in the distance and brings his thumbnail back up to his mouth without thinking. “And you?” he asks abruptly, “What do you think of StarKiller base?”

Ren takes a few steps closer to him. “I think men like you build these things, and think they’re invincible. But you have no idea what true power is”

His dismissal of Hux’s life’s work doesn’t fill him with irritation like he’d expect, instead he’s amused at Ren’s delusions, and a small smirk appears on his lips. “Not all of us are so lucky to have use of the force”

“But you have me, General”

He feels a sting of shock go through him, _what an odd thing to say_. But Ren has the social skills of a born king, whatever he says and whichever way he says it people will listen, and applaud if necessary. “And what good are you?” he asks with an edge in his tone, turning his head to look at him.

Then that pressure that’s been plaguing him since they started construction on the base reappears with so great an intensity he has to brace a hand on the glass. He presses the heel of his other hand to his forehead and a pained groan escapes between his teeth, it feels like his head is going explode.

Ren reaches for him only to snatch his hand away quickly. “You shouldn’t be able to feel that” he says, in as confused a manner as his mask allows.

Hux doesn’t hear him just clenches his eyes shut until finally, the feeling ebbs away and he’s left with only a severe headache. He lets out a breath of relief and blinks away the spots in his vision. “Forgive me, I suffer these headaches from time to time. Good luck on your mission” he says a bit dazed.

Ren doesn’t say anything, just watches him as he steps into the lift and makes his way back down to the base.

\--

The cold air stings as it makes its way through his nose and down into his lungs, but he sucks it in quickly anyway. He can feel his heart beat in his ears and in his toes and behind his eyes as he looks upon his soldiers, erupting in cheer. The speech he’d given was not the one he’d written and studied for hours, it was shorter, to the point, and taken straight from the feeling of standing here and knowing he was about to do something great, and knowing great things were to follow. He wanted them all to have that feeling. Some may fail to see the point of preaching to people raised to serve the First Order, but if FN-2187 taught them anything, it’s that soldiers who believe in what they’re fighting for, fight longer and fight harder.

The weapon shudders beneath them, releasing the power that’s been waiting there for this moment. They turn in unison and watch as red beams cut a wound through the sky and exit the atmosphere, his is face straight but his eyes are shining.

He knows when each target is hit, not because of the officer whispering in his ear but because he can feel it. It happens in quick succession, first he’s flooded with the terror of billions, and then billions more join in, then more. And in his horror and confusion he wishes for it to stop, then it quiets until there is silence, but the silence is not comforting. It all happens within a couple of seconds, after which his knees start to go weak. He stays upright only by will power and turns to exits the platform abruptly, which he can only hope is taken as a show of indifference, that there is still work to be done. In reality he stumbles his way through empty halls and to his quarters in a daze. His hands shake as he tries to enter the access key, the door gives a negative beep and he stifles a desperate curse before trying again slower.

He drops his greatcoat somewhere on the floor, removes his hat and gloves, and unbuttons his high collar which he’s never found restricting until now. He finds the way to the fresher in the dark, drops to his knees in front of his toilet and dry heaves painfully for minutes. He lies down on the cool floor, sucking in huge gulps of air and contemplating the absurdity of the situation. He’s just taken huge steps to restoring order to the galaxy, he is righteous. He doesn’t take their sacrifice lightly, nor the thousands of lives he’s ordered ended before, but never would he have thought himself capable of such a disappointing reaction. It seemed like he was there and he was all of them, all at once, but that’s not possible, and if it was why was he the only one it happened to. His breaths speed up, he gets light headed and the room feels like its spinning.

“Calm yourself, General” an unnatural voice cuts cruelly into his awareness.

And Hux clenches his eyes shut and balls his fists tightly because there is no way Kylo Ren is here, now, seeing him like this. But even with his eyes closed he is hyper aware of the man’s presence, and the room still spins, even more violently than before, and then thankfully he blacks out.

\--

He comes to, sluggishly, like he’s trapped just beneath the surface of his own body. He fumbles around for the room controls he keeps in his bedside table and turns the lights on low. He’s in bed he realizes belatedly, and he didn’t put himself there. He’s not in the bed exactly but on top of it, he brings his knees to his chest and reaches down to unzip his boots, then kicks them off onto the floor haphazardly. Then almost immediately he heaves himself up and brings the boots to his wardrobe, where he places them in line with his other footwear. He follows the trail of garments he’d left earlier to the outer room, tsk-ing at himself as he picks them up, and grabs his data pad from the table in his private office.

He's been out for hours. This has gone from what was meant to be the greatest day of his life to whatever mess this was now. And the absolute worst part of it all, was the fact that Ren bore witness to it. He thinks of him picking up his limp body from beside the toilet and carrying him to the bed and it makes his skin crawl. In fact, he peels of his clothes and throws them down the laundry chute, it's a waste as he hasn't even worn them a whole day, but it's been a disgusting last few hours. He pads naked into the refresher and goes to turn on the water, a benefit of building the base into a planet which has it in abundance, and steps under the spray before it's had a chance to heat up. The freezing water steals his breath and sinks all the way to his bones, he stands rigid until it reaches its peak temperature of lukewarm. Then he feels his muscles loosen and tilts his head back so that the spray is hitting his face and lets it run into his eyes and fill his mouth, then straightens and runs his fingers through his hair, separating the strands. He reaches for the single grey bottle sitting on the shelf, and squeezes a generous amount into his hand then lathers it in his hair and over his body, washing out the gel and stripping what little build up there was from his skin.

Ren knows, probably more than he does about what happened, and if he knows…Hux shakes his head to rid himself of that thought but his mind finishes it for him, _then maybe Snoke knows too_. This is what he gets for dallying in the shower and letting his mind wander. He steps out and towels himself off completely, leaving his skin red from rubbing against the harsh material. He feels better and better with each item of clothing he pulls on, he did something great today he reminds himself as he does his hair in the mirror. And that’s all that will be recorded because that’s all that matters.

\--

When he enters the chamber Snoke is already chiding Ren about his failure to obtain the map to Skywalker, Hux immediately joins in, traveling down the catwalk while informing The Supreme Leader of his apprentice’s foolish decision to capture some scavenger girl who accompanied the traitor FN-2187 instead of retrieving the droid; he sneers nastily at Ren all the while. Not that he sees it, he has his head bowed in shame and Hux doubts he can look anywhere but his boots.

“Have you located the resistance base, General?”

He turns away from the apprentice to face the master, arms clasped behind him, shoulders back and looking every bit a military commander. “We have traced it back to the Ileenium system, a reconnaissance mission is being put together as we speak to find its exact location” He answers proudly, and why shouldn’t he be? He stands here before Snoke a destroyer of worlds, standing on a weapon of his own design, and what does Ren bring? Nothing but failure and disappointment.

“There is no need, we will destroy the system” The hologram responds.

The statement echoes about the cavern for a few seconds and Hux feels his stomach drop, the feeling of pride and superiority he was drunk on a second ago is gone, replaced with shock and fear. Fear of what he’s being asked to do again, and fear of experiencing that terrible sensation of large scale violent death. He composes himself and tries to play the part of logical strategist and not that of the scared child, like he feels.

“Supreme leader there are at least two possibly three inhabited worlds orbiting Ileenium, would it not be prudent to destroy the resistance base and claim what’s left for the Order?”

“There is no time, if even one ship escapes with the information to find Skywalker we must begin this pursuit once again”

“She has seen the map Supreme leader, it resides in her mind, and I know I can retrieve it with your guidance” Ren offers humbly. Hux wonders if he’s trying to prevent further death or if he simply wants the chance to redeem himself, he thinks it’s the latter.

“You’ve made your promises, and you’ve broken them. With the map now in their possession, the resistance leaders have convened. When we destroy the base, we destroy the map and almost all knowledge of it. General, Prepare the weapon once more”

“Yes Supreme Leader” he bows and exits the chamber, making his way to the command center. It’s done. The order has been given and Hux must obey. He wonders if he’ll be numbed this time, or if it’ll be like fingers digging in an open wound and he’ll collapse on the bridge. Destroying the Hosnian system was necessary, he truly believes that, the New Republic was working against them, working for the resistance. It was filled with senators in sumptuous gowns, siting in opulent halls writing idealistic decrees on papers and they called that taking action, and expected the galaxy to fall in line. But all it allowed for was chaos, and chaos allows for murder, slavery, poverty and every type of degeneracy to run rampant. But to kill millions over an old Jedi who didn’t even want to be found, it seemed personal. Then he remembered who that old Jedi was, the man who destroyed the Death Star, who was responsible for the end of the great Empire and he justified to himself the desperate ends they’d taken to make sure he stays gone.

Hux follows his orders, and when he tells the crew to begin charging the weapon once more, they follow their orders too. His chest swells with pride as he stands in the center of the room and watches them perform their duties perfectly and without question, it’s inspiring. And he monitors the increasing energy with a little more anticipation.

\--

They travel as low as the trees allow them but the scanners can’t pick up anything on a collapsing planet that’s just swallowed a sun. Hux is having trouble focusing on the search, instead he chews on a nail while staring out of the viewport at the splitting crust. He may be in shock because the only thing he feels is a detached sort of disappointment. Disappointment which Snoke will no doubt feel doubly so if he does not locate his apprentice.

He remembers himself and turns towards the pilot “Search the area around the thermal reactor within a ten mile radius” he instructs. He starts to actively look for human shapes amidst the destruction, and then he hears it, or feels it, a call out to him. He tries to ignore it, but the more he concentrates on finding Ren the stronger it gets until the knowledge of where he is just buries itself in his head.

He stands from his seat, “give me the controls” he says, and slides into the vacated pilot’s chair. He lands them in the closest area large enough and exits the ship, intending to head the rest of the way on foot. He’s halfway down the ramp when he sees a black figure limping towards him in the snow, the man has dark hair that ends just under his jaw and it’s plastered to his face which sports a large raw wound. This is Kylo Ren he realizes, and he’s failed; they’ve both failed. He doesn’t look at him after that, staring straight ahead as he passes him on the ramp and returns to his station as co-pilot on their way back to the _Finalizer_ , leaving Ren alone in the passenger area.

Hux stands behind the hatch as it opens onto the landing bay, there’s a party of twenty anxious officers nearly bouncing on their toes, waiting for a chance to speak to him. They flank him on either side, keeping up perfectly with his quick pace.

“General, we are currently 14,235 souls over capacity while they await re-assignment.”

“How many AAL’s do we have available?”

“None sir, they’re all full and drifting, awaiting orders” Another voice behind him answers

“Instruct all the transports that originated from here to drop everyone awaiting re-assignment on ARK-201, then return and do the same with our passengers. And alert the planet’s central command to receive just under 17,000 temporary residents.” The officer gives an affirmation and disconnects from the crowd.

“General, Admiral Taget of the _Undertaker_ , requests that you-“ there are a few startled gasps coming from behind them, and then suddenly the officer addressing him to his left is shoved away by Ren, who grabs his elbow so tight, one might take it as a threat. He uses his hold to navigate Hux away from the officers, who stand around gaping after their retreating forms, unsure of what to do but knowing they shouldn’t follow.

“I have wasted enough time having to retrieve you from the base, Ren” he says frantically, but doesn’t try to take his arm back as he knows that would be useless. He looks at him from the corner of his eye, his black shroud is pulled down, covering most of his face, and he’s still limping but also managing to take long strides.

The halls are crowded with people running around and containers stacked against the walls with nowhere else to go. But the sea parts for the two most powerful men on the ship, all stopping to stand at attention. Many of them see the General and their eyes briefly flood with relief, only to spot the injured monster and his grip on Hux’s elbow, and Hux’s furious expression, and they stand silently with their backs against the wall like the rest.

Hux feels his patience run out when Ren stops them in front of his own personal quarters, he pushes out a huff of air from his nose and stubbornly refuses to obey the silent command. “You should be in med-bay” he says tightly. The grip on his elbow tightens even further and he lets out a sound of both frustration and pain, this time the threat is clear. He enters in his clearance and Ren tugs them inside. Finally he lets go of his arm and Hux extends and bends it a couple times. He winces and rubs a hand over it, trying to dull the pain while sending a glare in the direction of his assailant.

The lights are turned up just enough to make out shapes, but coming from the harsh lighting outside, Hux is left fumbling a bit. His feet knock against something solid and he can see a dark mass against the floor. He bends down and feels animal hide stretched over sharp corners, his cases he realizes, someone had the presence of mind to pack his belongings from Starkiller. Everything was falling apart, and his cloths and data drives just seemed so insignificant.  He opens them up and rifles through them until he finds a data pad, all the medical droids are in use but he moves his request for one to the top of the list. His intruder doesn’t deserve it but it’ll look bad if he expires in Hux’s quarters. He follows the layout from memory and carefully makes his way to the bedroom, where he sees Ren lying across the bed. He takes off his hat and gloves and stuffs them into the pocket of his greatcoat, then hangs it up on a hook by the doorway.

“I’ve requested a medical droid for you, it’ll be here soon enough” As his eyes adjust, he can see more of Ren’s form, he’s sprawled face down across the shorter end, with his feet hanging over the edge and taking up almost the entire surface. He doesn’t move and Hux scoffs, annoyed that he dragged him in here only to give him the silent treatment. “Well if that’s it, I’ve got work to do. You’re not welcome to stay, but as you are anyway, please have the decency to not destroy my rooms.”

He hears shuffling behind him as he turns and is about to leave, and he suddenly finds himself stopped and paralyzed from the neck down. He knows immediately what’s happened and exactly who's to blame, skipping over confusion and going straight to anger. “What?” He’s yelling now, eyes fixed on the wall across from. “What do you want? I can’t know what you want if you don’t tell me!” He’s so frustrated and Ren is still silent and still hasn’t let him go.

They stay there a whole minute before Hux feels himself deflate, and concedes. “I’ll stay” he says, and Ren releases him immediately and flops back down exhausted.

 

It occurs to Hux as he watches the droid exit his quarters that Ren may not have rooms aboard the _Finalizer_ as he’s never here for very long, and that instead of assigning himself a room he simply decided to impose himself on Hux. This is why he despises Kylo Ren, he doesn’t seem to know, or care that he’s not wanted. He runs his bare feet through the carpet, enjoying the feel of its fibers between his toes; feeling utilitarian, he decided to forgo having a carpet in his quarters on Starkiller. Initially, he only removed his boots in an effort to get comfortable but not too comfortable, in case he had the opportunity to escape. Then went his socks, then his uniform shirt, then his suspenders, and then finally his pants, leaving him just in his underclothes. He has all five of his data pads laid out on the table, and is doing what he can to mitigate the fallout from his rooms, which is everything just without putting in the effort of appearance. His hair is a mess from all the pulling and grabbing and tearing.

 

He awakes in his bed, and again it must have been Ren who put him there. He’s disoriented at first, expecting to be in his room on Starkiller, then closes his eyes against the flood of memories that bombards him. He sits up and turns his attentions elsewhere, to Ren who is slumped in the overstuffed reading chair on his right, muttering to himself. His long legs are spread wide and extended out from him, his head is tilted all the way back, and his arms are thrown over the sides with his fingertips managing to brush the floor. If he didn’t know his parentage, Hux would wonder what species he was mixed with, he seemed too long and disproportionate to be fully human. He’s shirtless and barefoot, he has an uncomfortable looking pair of black pants on, which are unclasped in the front to accommodate the bandage on his hip.

The muttering stops and Ren slowly raises his head to lock eyes immediately with Hux. It’s the same face that he saw in the snow, with the large slash and the sweaty hair sticking to it.

“Thank you, General” Hux raises his eyebrows in questioning surprise, “for coming to get me” he clarifies.

“Ah…well, the Supreme Leader requested it of me”

“Thank you for seeing to it personally” he adds. No, Hux didn’t need to do that, but it seemed wrong to pass off the task to anyone else.

“Think nothing of it” he says seriously

“I called to you” he says leaning forward. When Hux doesn’t respond he adds: “and you heard me” as if that’s supposed to mean anything.

“A little disconcerting, but it did help me locate you”

“The Hosnian system called out to you too”

_oh…_

He shakes his head slowly as he begins to understand the point he’s coming to, “no Ren, that’s not—“

“It’s the force, it has been awakened in you” he says earnestly

“You’re mistaken” he insists, “I am not—“

“There’s no denying it now”

Ren isn’t letting him get a word in and he clenches his fists in frustration, “Stop!” he yells.

“Snoke knows” he says after a moment.

If he had any color in his face it would drain, because Ren had pushed his half mad ramblings into reality. Hux is frozen sitting on his legs a top the bed, staring at the other man with eerily blank eyes because he obviously doesn’t know the weight of what he just said to him. The force has always been some distant, mystical thing he could just ignore and here Ren is telling him that it’s in him now, like it is in Ren, and Snoke, and Skywalker, and the scavenger girl that did that to his face. But he doesn’t want to be like any of them. He hates them.

“It’s no coincidence that it’s happened now” The knight closes his eyes for a second and breathes in deeply, “There’s been an awakening. Things are coming to a head and we’ve all got a part to play, but the force is pointing at you. The Supreme Leader believes this to be significant”

Hux continues to stare at him. “If it’s true, why didn’t—why weren’t you—when we killed those planets, did you feel it? No, don’t answer that.” He doesn’t know why he thought of that now, but he doesn’t want to know if he’s somehow a freak in the force or simply weak. He wonders how much this changes things.

 “It changes everything” Ren answers his unspoken question and that pressure returns to the base of his skull.

“That’s you?” He says shocked “it’s been you!” because these headaches have tormented him for years and Ren knew, everyone knew, there were times he nearly collapsed from the pain, and he did it anyway.

Then he realizes something worse “This is your fault, all of it” he accuses calmly. Ren doesn’t answer but he knows it’s true anyway, he did this to him somehow and this is why he hates Kylo Ren. He takes liberties with everybody and everything, changing them implicitly and intrinsically, and says it’s a blessing.

“But it is a blessing General”

“Get out of my head!” He screams, and the pressure dissipates but Ren continues.

“Your understanding of everything, of life will change completely, it already has, and soon you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it and realize that you never really did” His voice is filled with earnest excitement, he’s pleased that this happened to Hux, he wants to share in this with him. He’s finally caught the Knights attention, finally deemed worthy. The General will not give him the satisfaction.

“I’ve no interest in the force Ren, I never understood it and I don’t want to, not if it means destroying myself the way you have” He’s speaking of things he didn’t know of hours ago, but it seems as though something is whispering in his ear. _Ben_ , it says.

“You’ve been handed power you idiot, a chance at ascension and you would choose not to take it?” he sounds put off, like this wasn’t the way he expected this conversation to go.

“I have been handed nothing! You’ve _poisoned_ me, infected me with your filth” he almost whispers this, as if his anger and hatred has lodged itself in his throat “and I’m expected to be grateful?”  

Ren stands and moves slowly towards him, climbing up on the bed and mirroring Hux. His too wide eyes reflecting what little light the room affords, he’s dripping blood onto the sheets from the wound on his side.

“Yes” he says a simply and reaches out to hold the General’s face in his hands “When I’ve trained you--”

“No” he tries to escape the hold but Ren holds fast.

“When I’ve trained you” he continues, looking deeply into Hux’s eyes “We will destroy the resistance, and all of their allies, and bring order to the galaxy”

It’s not fair. None of this is fair, he wants to make Ren regret ever entering his mind, but he’s tired now, so much so that his fury drains from him and he collapses back onto the bed and Ren lets him. He briefly considers calling a medical droid for Ren’s opened wound but decides that if he wants to bleed out so be it, he doesn’t care anymore, then turns his back to the man, climbs between bloody sheets and tries his best to re-capture sleep. Ren returns to the chair and starts muttering to himself once more.

\--

Hux wakes up exhausted somehow, like he hasn’t slept in days, but his internal clock still woke him up at the same time it usually did. He hefted himself out of bed and then almost immediately collapsed back onto it. This made no sense, he slept more in the last 24 hours than he has in months and his body is more than used to functioning without rest.

“Come here” Hux turns his head lethargically to the man sitting cross-legged on his floor. Ren looks better, he’s dressed and showered and looking more like a human being. He takes a moment to truly look at his face and finds he has to fight to keep down a smirk. Before, he thought of the mask he always wore as quite antiquated, some childish effort at honoring the great empire. While that still very may well be true, he now realizes that it allows Ren to be taken seriously. Hux ponders whether it is even possible for his own face to achieve the pout that is currently on Ren’s. No, he doesn’t think so.

He must be delirious to have had that train of thought go through his head.

“You’re projecting non-stop ever since we used the weapon and it’s been draining you. Come here and I’ll show you how to stop”

“What am I projecting?” Hux drawls, he’s still sprawled gracelessly over the bed and he must look ridiculous.

“Feelings, thoughts, sometimes sensations; it’s mostly incomprehensible” Ren answers.

He doesn’t want to get up, and he doesn’t want Ren to train him in anything. “No, some of us have shit to do, and can’t sit around…” he waves a hand at whatever the other man is doing.

Normally he avoided the use of profanity, it was unbecoming of a man in his position. But he thought about using it enough, in fact, it took a lot of work to break himself out of the habit and he would no doubt be appalled at this slip of tongue once he comes to his senses.

The medical droid he summoned arrives promptly and beeps Hux out of his fatigue induced reverie.

“I need something to wake me up and keep me up” he breaths out hopefully in a somewhat coherent manner. Then he feels something prick his arm, and after a few minutes he’s able to leave his bed, and he’s walking out his rooms within the hour.


	2. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your distress that day on Starkiller was not weakness, it was strength. That you felt anything was impressive, the fact that it brought you to your knees makes you valuable. And being valuable does not mean you have to be like me.

Hux enters the small conference room and the occupants rise to stand at attention. He walks briskly to the other end of the long table and takes his seat, placing his data pad in front of him.

“At ease” he says

He scrolls through his data pad silently for a full minute, causing the tension in the room to rise significantly.

He doesn’t look up from the screen as he begins. “I know that in order to go into active duty in the First Order military and no doubt achieve the rank that you all have, one must be proficient in the skill of writing a report. But as I sifted through the garbage that was sent to me, I realized that I have obviously been mistaken for years. I wanted to know how a few basic explosives and an X-wing blew up our planet sized base, but I keep reading things like ‘unauthorized access to sensitive areas’ and—oh here we go—  ‘lax security for prisoners and around certain areas of interest’. If I wanted to know about the base’s security I would ask those in charge of the security” He looks up and points to a woman seated on his right “state your designation”

She pops out of her seat immediately “Chief warrant officer Navis, astrodynamics specialist, sir”

“Did you work on the planning and construction of Starkiller base, Officer Navis?”

“Yes, sir”

“Excellent, so you know all about it. Did insufficient prisoner security blow up Starkiller?”

“No, sir”

“Then why did your report state that it did?”

“It won’t happen again, sir”

“I asked you a question Officer Navis, why did your report contain irrelevant and false information? Were you trying to perhaps absolve yourself of some blame?”

“I was merely—“

“Don’t lie to me! Were you trying to absolve yourself of some blame by passing it on to another party?”

“Yes, sir”

He looks at her for a while but she admirably continues to stand straight and look at the wall behind him. “Sit down Navis, and don’t worry all of your fellows did the same thing. And I’m sorry to say I cannot afford to fire all of my most qualified engineers as of yet.”

“The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, we all share the responsibility of what happened, some more so than others” he says and indicates to himself, “and we must all work on a way to rectify it. Am I understood?”

He looks around the table, there is a litany of (‘yes, General’)’s in response. Accepting this, he leans back in his chair and makes a gesture at the middle of the table. “Well?” he prompts, and they begin.

The session lasts hours and they go over everything, functionality vs. security, known unknowns and unknown unknowns, categorizing vulnerabilities and potential exploits, and most importantly: separation of concerns. He’s tired of these self-destruct buttons they keep building for their enemies, damage to one area should not mean permanent, total system failure. They also come to a hard but radical decision: Star Killer was powerful, somewhat stationary, and completely self-contained; it in itself was a mistake. They included fear in its arsenal of defenses, this was a mistake too. Power paints a target on your back always. Star Killer base was beautiful but not ideal against a mobile spread out threat like the resistance, now was the time for practicality.

“Dismissed” he announces, and waits until the room has emptied before burying his face in his hands. His next meeting is with the accountants, he’s going to need another shot.

\--

By the time he returns to his quarters he is hopeful that he can fix this. It isn’t the devastating blow it felt like when he watched his greatest weapon collapse into a star, and he’s going to prove it to the rest of the galaxy. However, each shot he is administered lasts four hours and they can only be taken two times a day. So he is laid to waste by exhaustion after only two work shifts, and his day usually consists of at least four. And that means at this rate, his plans will take twice the usual time to come into fruition.

_Unacceptable_

Hux’s quarters on the _Finalizer_ practically served as his home at one point. He isn’t sentimental so the rooms may seem sparse to some, but he switched out the standard provided desk chair with a larger more comfortable one. There are stacks of books he keeps around as reference for when he’s writing his speeches; and at one point there was a need to rearrange the furniture from the regulation layout, but he never bothered putting it back. While his return is the byproduct of his failure, he’s not unhappy being back in these rooms.

Ren is waiting for him in his bedroom, seated on the floor at the foot of his bed. His outer robes and what must be a new mask are thrown in the reading chair. Hux ignores the intruder and starts trying to strip off his uniform while lying supine on his bed, it was terribly unbecoming. He flops down and turns to look at the other man, who is watching him with an air of disappointment.

“This is your fault”

“Then let me fix it” and motions to the spot in front of him

Hux narrows his eyes at him and huffs, before sliding off the bed and plopping down onto the floor.

“Close your eyes, clear your mind, focus on the breaths you take” Hux tries, but it’s difficult to clear your mind while fighting off the urge to sleep. Ren senses this and grabs his upper arms too tightly and takes loud deep breaths for him to follow along with. “Now imagine a tear, this tear allows everything that goes through your mind to escape.”

“A tear in what?”

“A tear in your mind”

“So brain tissue?”

Ren lets out a huff of breath “It’s a conceptual tear, it isn’t _of_ anything”

“Ok” he pictures a split in brain tissue.

“Now close it” Ren demands

Hux takes a deep breath and tries to push the edges of the tear together but suddenly they’re worlds apart.

“I can’t, it’s too big, it’s too late” he whispers dazedly

“The tear isn’t the problem, you imagined it to help you solve the actual problem, its size is indicative of nothing and is unimportant”

He doesn’t understand but he tries again anyway, grabs the edges and pulls and knits them back together one section at a time. His hands are bloody and the tissue slips from his fingers a lot, but he manages to get almost half of it closed before he’s pushed out of his own mind by exhaustion. How what little energy he had left could be drained so quickly while sitting still, he doesn’t know, but he deserves this for being an idiot and actually listening to the knight.

“You’re narrow-minded General, your pathetic world view will shackle you. Everything will be much harder until you open yourself to the force and truly accept it” Ren’s eyes are too bright and intense even though his face remains impassive, and if Hux had the strength to tell him to fuck off, he doesn’t know if he could. “Again” he demands.

“No Ren” he very nearly whines

The hands on his arms keeping him from falling over shake him “Again”

Hux clears his mind as best as a man in his position can, but in a fit of half childish rebellion and half instinct, he imagines a hull breach instead. The area around it is twisted and burnt, broken wires are snapping violently, through it he can only see bright blackness. He knows exactly what to do even half delirious, before he was stationed on a ship he was planet side fixing them. He sets about folding the metal back and welding it shut, re-establishing broken connections, and covering the exposed areas. It’s a bit ugly, but it’s textbook and functional.

He opens his eyes and immediately meets Ren’s, he can tell it worked by the faint look of appeasement on the man’s face. The knight slides his arms behind his knees and back then picks him up and holds him to his chest before he deposits the perturbed general onto the bed.

“Why do you keep doing that?” He asks, thinking of the other two times Ren has carried him to bed.

Ren goes back to his position on the floor and considers him for a moment “were you able to do it yourself?”

“No, but what's that to do with you?”

“I helped you because you needed help”

He dismisses that answer with a ‘humph’ and closes his eyes.

“Did you leave the room today?” he asks after a moment

“Yes”

“How the hell did you get back in?”

“I ordered a technician to break in”

On one hand he is deeply disappointed that his crew fear Ren more than they respect their General, on the other, he’s glad that no one ended up brain dead today. He can’t help but notice how different the knight is being to him ever since his force sensitivity made itself known, it’s clear he’s the type of man who looks over those without his “blessings”. His father would have hated Ren. The First Order has no data on the force and Hux hasn’t had the time to get his hands on any other sources, and probably won’t for a while. So that leaves Ren. He had previously decided not to approach him with any questions lest the other man think he’s taking an interest in any of it, but he does has one thing that’s been on his mind.

“If someone is force-sensitive, does that mean they must have a parent that is as well?” there is a long pause, and Hux wonders if Ren’s surprised by the question.

“No, anyone can be born with our gifts. Though if one has the force, so will their children”

Hux contemplates this. It’s possible that Brendol Hux had the same undiscovered potential as he did for most of his life, but that seems wrong somehow. So his thoughts turn to his mother, which doesn’t happen very often having never met her. No, the wife of his father was not his mother as she’d cruelly informed him one day after he’d broken a necklace of hers he was playing with. She was quite nice to him after that, and let him get away with a lot more much to the chagrin of his older brother. Everyone who knew his father commented on how much alike they were, Hux was his spitting image inside and out, and he wondered if he held any trace of the woman who gave birth to him. He never asked, his mother was not a subject up for discussion, not until the very end. On his deathbed, Brendol Hux whispered a name and a planet into his son’s ear, then pushed an ugly stone trinket into his hands with the instructions ‘ _give it to her_ ’. He still had it somewhere. Never once had he thought of going to that planet; and now? Now he wanted to know if she’d given him anything besides his ridiculous name, if she’d given him the force.

“Trust your feelings”

Hux feels that pressure at the back of his skull, too late as always. He puts the heal of his hand up to his forehead in anticipation of the oncoming headache “Don’t do that”

“You want to know about your mother” he continues “focus deeply on the thought of her, the force will guide you”

“I’ve never met her; I don’t know her so there’s nothing to really think about is there?”

“Unless I’m mistaken you were there when she gave birth to you” He says this as if Hux is the one not making any sense.

“It’s not as if I remember that!”

Ren opens his eyes and looks at him “Your blindness is truly infuriating” he stands and walks over to where Hux is lying on the bed; his hands are clenched into fists but his voice stays calm “it happened, that’s all you need to know” Hux stands and squares up to the man.

“I thought I made myself clear, I have _no_ interest in the force, it’s nothing to me. And we aren’t all lucky enough to have a Jedi for an un-”

He’s cut off by his windpipe being crushed; he should have seen that coming. What does surprise him is the feel of gloves against his throat, having never seen Ren choke someone using his own hands. He always thought he’d have the presence of mind to stay relatively calm in this situation, but having his air flow cut of completely is a terrifying sensation and he panics immediately, his eyes go wide and his arms reach wildly for the other man.

Ren lets go and he falls to the bed, unmoving except for catching gasping breaths; the other man leans over him and rests his hand on Hux’s aching neck. When he’s gathered enough strength, he throws a punch that would send most men reeling even in this state and sends him almost flying off the bed with the momentum. Ren though, simply catches him and lays him back down.

“Leave” he croaks pitifully.

Ren just shushes him.

“Go away” he tries again. A hand comes to cover his eyes, and then nothing. And when he wakes up he’s alone.

\--

Hux strides into the holo-chamber and comes to a stop beside Ren whom he doesn’t acknowledge. He hasn’t seen him for months, which before Starkiller wasn’t unusual; it probably had something to do with the training Snoke mentioned. Even so, he could still feel the hand tightening around his neck so very clearly, that night wasn’t so much a warning as an attempted murder with a last minute change of mind.

With Ren’s absence retuned normalcy. In an effort to show that the First Order still stood strong after the destruction of their base, he made an impressive move to claim a valuable mining planet. Even after an offer that many others less fortunate in their encounters with the Order would describe as generous, the Riordan government insisted on staying neutral in their political affiliations. There is no such thing as neutral in this campaign, you either bend to the Order, or be made to. All that force business seemed to be done with as well, having observed no indication of it since that night. Hux was delighted to learn that this was the type of problem you could just ignore and it would go away, if only he was allowed to.

The chamber is smaller than the one on Starkiller but the feeling of cold and absolutism is in no way diminished, it’s incredible how greatly Snoke can affect a space he’s never truly been in.

“Supreme Leader” He addresses the hologram, “our efforts at Riorda have been successful, the opposition has been rooted out and our raw material resources as a result have increased significantly.”

Snoke regards Hux more closely than he can ever remember at their previous meetings. Hux’s role in these meetings has been to receive orders and give status updates, and now here he is being considered, the change is unsettling to say the least. While it was an honor to be acknowledged for his service, he wasn’t too keen on being inspected so closely by a man who could order his death at any time. He doesn’t fear Snoke but he doesn’t know exactly what he wants, and you can’t predict what someone will do unless you know what they’re after.

“I was pleased to learn of your awakening within the force General, but Lord Ren informs me that you have rejected to learn in its ways. Are you afraid or are you foolish?” Hux has been dreading this conversation since Ren told him that Snoke knew of his predicament, and no doubt he would inform his master about his unwillingness. He recites the answer he’s been cultivating ever since.

“I only wished to focus on my duties in the position you appointed me, commanding our forces at this most delicate time and it is a delicate time. We must capitalize on the destruction of the New Republic quickly.”

He doesn’t buy it.

“You would be more useful to the order if you devout to it all of your gifts. And the force is a gift to those with true vision, you have that vision general, I’ve seen it.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader”

“Studying it shouldn’t interfere with our goals if you’ve chosen your senior officers wisely. Your duty to the First Order has been noted, but now more is being asked of you and you must rise to fulfill it.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader”

He’s dismissed after that, leaving Ren alone with Snoke. He walks from the bowels of the ship back up to the bridge, feeling a little violated. Had Snoke tried to seduce him? Snoke, who thinks he can be replaced with a few senior officers, Snoke who wasn’t very much interested in their military status. He wonders if he hordes force-users, potential or otherwise; Ren _was_ instructed to capture that scavenger girl. But Hux has never been able to push an intrusion out of his mind, or defeat anyone in a light saber battle. All he’d managed to do was pass out on his refresher floor, and project all his thoughts to the point of exhaustion; hardly much of an asset. But these religious types were nothing if not believing.

 

Hux finds himself in the blaster range sometime later, everything is a different shade of grey like the entire ship, like everything in the First Order and where he once found it functional and professional, now he despises it. It’s empty of course. Most officers wouldn’t know what to do in a ground battle situation; Brendol Hux believed a good leader needed to have some idea of what they were asking of those in their command. He agreed, it made him smarter, better able to truly know what was possible and impossible. Though at the moment he was just trying to keep his mind off things, everything really. The familiar weight of the standard issue blaster is comforting, so is the feel of the metal and rubber as runs his fingers over the interlocking mechanisms, and the smell of plasma. He’s an adequate shot usually; right now he’s abysmal, missing his mark by wide margins.

“Your eyes deceive you, close them and trust in the force. The force is truth” The sound of blaster fire must have masked Ren’s approach, because suddenly his modulated voice was directly in Hux’s ear.

He doesn’t startle, too controlled for such a response, he simply lowers the gun but doesn’t take his eyes off the target, keeping the black figure in his peripheral. “Not now Ren, I’m off duty” He grumbles. He knew he would have to submit to these teachings eventually as Snoke “requested”, but he figured he’d have a few days to sort things out. Leave it up to Ren to want to start as soon as possible.

“This is how you spend your spare time?” He doesn’t sound impressed.

He raises his gun back into position and pulls the trigger. “Not all of us care for self-flagellation or whatever else you do” his shot is way off, and he makes a frustrated sound from behind clenched teeth.

 “Breath” he instructs.

“I am breathing” he says tightly

Ren slides behind him and places a guiding hand to Hux’s chest. He tries to knock it away but it stays put. “Stop, I don’t want to do this”

He can feel that heat surround him but this time it wasn’t completely suffocating. He wondered if Ren was aware of the effect his closeness had on people, if he did it on purpose. It makes sense, the man has never cared for personal space when trying to intimidate him and apparently in this too, it’s so uncivilized. But he allows his breaths to even out anyway.

“Close your eyes” He says and Hux lets out a huff of annoyance but obeys. “Now focus on the target”

“Ren—“ he begins

The knight knows what he’s going to say and interrupts him, “You know what it is, that it is here in this room, that it _exists_ here in this room, this is more than enough, you don’t need to see it”

The synthetic voice is harsh and loud and grating in his ear and he lets out a breath when it stops. He constructs an image of the target in his mind and focuses on that, and when he hears a ‘go ahead’ he lifts his blaster and fires. The recoil pushes him back into Ren’s hard chest, then hands grip his shoulders and before he can question anything his mouth splits open in a scream as fingers dig their way into his brain. It’s different than the pressure that’s been plaguing him, it’s more intrusive, and he sees the image he constructed in his mind of the target stand out at the forefront. The agony lasts only a second, then it’s gone, and he stands there for a moment bracing for the headache that usually comes after but it never shows.

“That’s not enough, it’s not enough to just picture it, you must focus on the fact of its existence.” He lets go of Hux, who stays leaning slightly against the man behind him.

“Fucking bastard!” he accuses “of course I missed, I couldn’t hit it while I was looking at it”

“Focus” he reiterates

Hux straightens himself and tries to focus on the ‘fact of its existence’, _how absurd_. But maybe he’ll be left alone after this little lesson fails.

“Aim” Ren instructs

He expects nothing to happen but if he did he suspected it would be something physical, like a hand or a pull guiding him. Instead he just knows how to place his blaster in order to hit the target, like the information was deposited into his head. Just like on StarKiller. It’s…odd.

“Fire”

He feels the recoil and hears the sound of impact but before he can open his eyes to see the result, a gloved hand clamps down over them.

“Again, on the next target to the right”

Hux does as he’s told and goes through the motions once more but the hand stays obstructing his vision.

“Now hit the sign on the far wall”

He pauses, he has an idea of what Ren’s taking about though he can’t recall anything specific about it; how big it was, what was printed on it, or where it was positioned. A frown mares his face and he worries his bottom lip with his teeth, trying to picture it in his head, then he remembers what Ren said about how just knowing of it was enough, so he focuses on that, then he aims and then he shoots.

Ren steps away and removes his hand, Hux opens his eyes warily.

The two targets are flashing green indications of being hit, but he’d been using them and all the targets in this room for years, so much so that it’s not impossible that he could do it with his eyes closed, just…very improbable. He searches the back wall for the sign, it’s off to the left a bit and says something about protective gear, and to his astonishment it sports a big ugly blaster mark right in the middle.

_Maybe I did know where it was, subconsciously, maybe…_

No. He did that. He did that with his eyes closed and he can’t logic it away like the others and it’s unnerving how natural it felt, like being presented with a decision to make and the correct one simultaneously. Hux doesn’t feel powerful, he feels very small. He feels lost as his entire world view tilts, just as Ren said it would. It feels like the floor has dropped from under him. He was force-sensitive. It wasn’t real until just now; he was a force-user. It’s baffling.

 

He drops the blaster somewhere and returns to his rooms, tight lipped and wide eyed; he’s not going to have his existential crisis where just anyone can walk in. He immediately goes to his mini ‘cantina’, it’s just a set of four crystal tumblers and a few bottles, all at least half full. He reaches for one holding some iridescent liquid when a voice cuts in.

 “I’m afraid your training calls for some abstinence regarding your foul, mind-numbing drink” once again he followed Hux to his rooms and pushed his way in uninvited.

“You’re lying” he hisses, and turns to face Ren “why would that possibly be a thing?”

“In these beginnings you need to be as receptive as possible and to experience all your feelings to their fullest extent”

This has gone too far and that just sounds like a bunch of spiritual bantha-shit. Hux looks to where Ren’s eyes ought to be beneath the mask.

“I’m not like you people. I’m not and you know I never will be” he tries to assure himself. “So let’s—fuck—let’s just appease your master with a few blaster sessions and move on, trying to indoctrinate me into your cult is a waste time, especially when I am at my best out there on the bridge.” He says harshly with a hint of desperation and panic.

Ren tilts his head in consideration for a moment. “During the old republic, those who didn’t show a certain level of sensitivity were referred to as ‘force-blind’. This is just one of the many examples of Jedi foolishness, no one is blind to the force, it would be like being blind to life itself. Some call it names like ‘intuition’ and use it for something as simple as nerf-herding, but it’s still the force. The supreme Leader is wise; he knows that the force has many uses even for a General in the First Order.” He crowds into Hux’s space. “Your distress that day on Starkiller was not weakness, it was strength. That you felt anything was impressive, the fact that it brought you to your knees makes you valuable. And being valuable does not mean you have to be like me.”

He removes his mask and lets it drop to the floor, it lands so heavily Hux wonders how Ren keeps his head up, and is also concerned for his floor. He continues to disrobe while making his way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind him like an unconcerned child. “It’s time for your next lesson”

The anger he’d just felt at Ren, at Snoke, at the force itself for taking away his personal agency dissipates just a little. So something’s would stay the same, he wouldn’t be forced to become an angry monk like the rest of them, good. Either way he doesn’t have much of a choice, so he follows him into the room where he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor barefoot and in his under-layers. He considers him for a moment, his eyes are closed but apparently that means absolutely nothing, so he looks away and removes his boots and uniform shirt and mirrors him on the floor.

“Meditation is the most important technique you will learn and you will do it long and often. It is the process of reaching a higher state of awareness by ceasing all thought, all active consciousness of the happenings around you and allowing them to be supplemented by the force” he says with his eyes closed. “Lull yourself by taking long breaths, close your eyes, your ears, close everything and clear your mind.”

“Haven’t we done this already? I healed myself.” He says in a bored manner

“Wrong!” Ren says fiercely and that heaviness is back, weighing on him and causing his shoulders to hunch slightly. “You must listen to me when I speak General perhaps that should have been the first lesson. You are trying to _escape_ the confines of your mind and expand your awareness beyond yourself, not turn your focus completely within it. Begin.”

Hux doesn’t say anything else. He stretches out his breaths, he stops paying attention to the hard feeling of the floor pressing through the soft carpet beneath him and the faint hum of the ship that fills the quiet of the room, and he completely silences his thoughts. He’s almost successful except that he keeps forgetting to breathe, every time he manages to free himself he’s tugged back into awareness by the need to fill his lungs. He struggles to push the action to back of his mind for a bit before Ren decides to intervene. He slides behind Hux and fits his chest flush to the other’s back, his long legs are planted on either side caging him in and the heat from the other man is again simply there and not unbearable. It should feel awkward given they are almost the same height but Ren seems to surround him somehow; their breaths sync up naturally. It seems breathing isn’t Hux’s strong point, funny how one can do something all their life only to find that they aren’t very good at it.

“Breathing can be one of the most difficult parts of the training”

“Did you need this?” he asks between breaths.

The other man waits a few moments before replying “In another life”

Instead of imagining what it’s like to be cradled like this by the infamous Luke Skywalker, he manages to clear his mind. He blocks out the feeling of a chest against his back, of breath against his face and the warm smell of the man surrounding him. It works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up.
> 
> Please tell me what you think.


	3. Sweat and Blood and Sometimes Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s difficult to see his own presence but he knows he’s not like Ren, intrinsically. His is a dim white light, calm and cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long, I kinda rewrote it. Because I hated it. If you read the first 2 chapters before this update, you DO NOT have to go back and reread it, every thing is basically the same. If you do I would be honored if you commented about the differences. This one is shorter but I just wanted to get it out there for you guys. Enjoy!

Something pulls him out of sleep. The blood in his veins freeze for a moment before he recognizes the presence, Ren is looming next to his bed, staring at him from underneath his mask. Hux can feel him more than see him in the near perfect darkness of his room. It’s quite unsettling. He blindly reaches for his data pad with a mild sense of alarm, the bright screen cuts through the darkness making him squint; 0400 it says.

“What’s happened?” his voice is tight with sleep. He pulls the sheets off of him and sits up, rubbing his eyes fiercely. He hasn’t seen the other man for weeks and this is the worst way to be informed of his return.

“The supreme leader has given me a mission, I think it would be prudent for you to accompany me” he responds lowly, in a way that cancels out the polite manner of his statement.

He takes a few seconds to parse over the statement, while staring at the patch of black that seems to be Ren. Then he does a double take because he was expecting some sort of emergency, and this doesn’t seem to qualify. “What are you talking about?” he says dumbly, feeling like maybe he’s missing something.

“We must leave immediately” the disembodied voice offers, clearly expecting Hux to hop to it

He’s not missed anything he realizes, and there is no emergency, just an inconsiderate asshole who’s broken into him rooms. He relaxes a bit, only to be filled with absolute annoyance, “have you lost your mind? I’m not going anywhere.”

“It wasn’t a request”                     

Hux lets out a disbelieving sound. “I am the commander of this ship. I don’t know what you think that means but I can’t just—“

Ren grabs his arm and drags him out of bed like a disobedient child; Hux stumbles awkwardly while he tries to find his footing. Any last vestiges of sleep are gone from his system as he’s shocked into wakefulness.

His mask is less than an inch from his face. “I don’t care what status you hold over other men, I am your master now. And it was not a request.” The knight says this so matter-of-factly that he feels the urge to nod in acceptance, “I’ll be waiting in my shuttle” and he finally lets go and turns to leave.

_Master_

Hux sits on the edge of his bed in wide-eyed disbelief for a moment after Ren’s gone. The man was a bully and a menace. But ever since he’s been given the title of General, they’d been somewhat equals; Ren couldn’t touch him and he couldn’t touch Ren, and they certainly couldn’t give each other orders. And now he’s expecting to be obeyed with no questions asked, it’s preposterous.

He wants to refuse, surround himself with a wall of stormtroopers and just go about his day, the equivalent of stamping his foot and shouting “no”. He wants back the power he’d earned. And the only way he can think to do that is to satisfy Snoke and finish this training. He takes a deep breath and swallows his frustration and the incredible urge to scream, because at the very least, he deserves Ren’s respect. Instead he informs the head officer via message that he’ll be unavailable for an indefinite length of time, and to go ahead with any previously assigned tasks. It’s the best he could do on such short notice. He packs a bag of things he can only guess may be useful and then preps and primps himself to his usual regulation perfection and heads to the landing bay.

\--

Ren exits the cockpit and stops when he sees the General, observing him for a moment. “What are you wearing?”

Hux looks down at his all black cargo ensemble a little self-consciously “It’s my combat uniform, I changed when we exited hyperspace. I figured since this was a mission…” he trails off with a frown. Ren is wearing his usual robes, which he assumes are intended for all purposes.

The other man hums lowly in understanding “You should wear it all the time, it looks cooler” then he walks to the open hatch and out of the ship.

Hux looks after him, stunned to hear such normal language from the knight as ‘cool’, and also his standard uniform is plenty cool thank you very much.

 

They land on a very green planet that seems to thrum around them and the air itself feels full and heavy. Ren leads them through silent, untamed forest; there isn’t a bird in the sky, no sound except for the crunch of leaves under their own feet. They travel in an awkward silence; there are no troopers accompanying them on this excursion which is unusual, as far a Hux knows Ren is always flanked by at least a squadron. For one thing it’s stupid for two men of their importance to travel around in a First Order shuttle, without any aid. But mostly it’s upsetting that he’s going to be alone with Ren for who knows how long; no work, no excuses, and no escape.

Ren stops after a few minutes and Hux follows his line of sight to a massive stone temple, that without the other man, he would have walked right past, like his awareness was being shifted. The forest was trying to reclaim it, ivy grew over every inch of the outer walls and tree branches broke through its windows. As they walk towards it, his heart starts beating faster and he’s filled with the urge to turn around. Hux doesn’t want to go in there, the building itself doesn’t want him to go in there, the force doesn’t want him to go in there, but Ren did. So, on they went.

The air inside is stale and stagnant and he gets the feeling they were the first people to walk these halls in a very long time. Ren seems to know exactly where he’s going, not stopping once through the many twists and turns on their path. Another defense mechanism this place employs, Hux makes an effort to remember the sequence incase he’ll have to traverse his way out alone.

They come to a large domed chamber, larger than the bridge on the finalizer, illuminated by sunlight filtering in from the oculus above them. The floor is a marble of dull red which contrasts with the sand color of everything else, and in the walls are carved seven giant figures, all seated in positions that convey lazy power. Men and women who did not need to bother with pretense. Ren stops and stands in the center, waiting for something; the alarms in his head really start blaring now. Hux hears a loud creaking from behind and turns, the entryway they used is now being closed off by a metal door slowly sliding shut, looking very out of place and struggling with disuse.

“Ren” he calls, and starts to runs back.

The other man barely turns his head, “Leave it”

He doesn’t listen because he’s not a fool and absolutely does not trust Ren with his life. He has to travel half the length of the room and even at top speed, the opening is too small to fit through by the time he slides to a stop, carried by his momentum. He grips the edge of the door and braces his foot against the frame but even with its slow movement, he can’t hold it open himself. He looks frantically around for something to wedge in between the door but the chamber is completely empty. Hux mutters some expletives then takes the blaster from his leg and holds it up in anticipation, he might be able to blast his way out but it would take too long.

 And he’s got bigger problems.

The only other openings are the one fifty feet above them and an entryway on the other side of the chamber, from which the faint sound of marching can be heard. This is a situation where troopers would be very useful. He curses Ren for dragging him here without even briefing him, forcing him to be uncharacteristically unprepared. The knight ignites his light saber and it captures Hux’s attention for a moment, it’s one of the few times he’s seen the actually blade which seems to crackle wildly like it’s defective. It’s mesmerizing.

He turns back to the sound; battle droids, an archaic form of security from the days of the old empire and used in the clone wars. They start entering the chamber, rusted and covered in cob-webs but they soldier on. Hux wastes no time and shoots first, using the fact that they can only file in three or four at a time to his advantage and starts picking them off before they can fill the room. They’re stupid and terrible shots but in a horde they can be quite troublesome. He stays behind Ren who’s deflecting their bolts in moves that are too quick to follow, and flinging droids against the walls so hard they shatter. At one point there must be over fifty destroyed droids piled up at their feet but they keep coming, tripping over the parts of their former companions.

Ren sticks out his hand and they’re pushed back into the long corridor behind the entrance from which they came, then he runs in after them. They’re jammed together tightly and he cuts through them ten at a time with sweeping arcs, slowly advancing his way forward. He’s not graceful, still stomping and hulking as usual, but he’s clearly learned, handling his weapon with such effectiveness it seems like it’s part of him. Hux can only follow behind, stepping over singed parts and shooting the ones that remain functional.

They get what they came for, a box with 20 faces about the width of his hand, metallic with intricate designs running around it. It was on the floor, buried under droid parts like trash but Ren stares at it and turning it over a few times then pushes past Hux and goes back the way they came, not bothering with any of the other more impressive looking objects mounted on the wall in the small room, using his light saber to cut through the door that meant to lock them in.

\--

“There’s something different about this planet, can you feel it?” Ren asks him. He was dismayed to find out that their time together was not coming to an ended and instead of heading back to the ship, they came to a grassy cliff so high up he could see the tops of mountains. “It’s strongest here.”

That thrum he felt when they first landed had turned to a drum beat, pounding in his ears. He gives a nod in affirmation.

“The force signature on this planet is massive, twenty times over what it should be. It practically screams to you. Tell me what it says”

Hux feels ridiculous, sitting cross legged on the grass like a child, his blaster lay on the ground next to him as he tries to make meaning out of the noise in his head. “We’re alone,” he says finally “but the dead are still here.” It’s the best he can articulate it.

Ren simply hums thoughtfully.

“Are we really the only beings on the planet?” uninhabited planets and moons were not rare, but this one had so much life it was difficult to think that there was not even a worm to be found in the dirt.

“Whatever lived here died a long time ago”

“And they never left” he wondered if he would be stuck here too, if he died here.

“It would explain the unusual signature” Ren says, considering.

He started thinking of potential uses a planet like this could have for the Order, but the force was insistent and pulled his attention to Ren. His presence is so strong here Hux can see it, whipping around and licking at him like a blaze. It’s difficult to see his own presence but he knows he’s not like Ren, intrinsically. His is a dim white light, calm and cool. He doesn’t know much about the light or the dark side, but Ren seems to hold onto his anger desperately, while Hux gets the feeling that wouldn’t do him much good. He wonders how one would go about switching sides, if that’s even possible.

He’s about to pose his question when he sees it, thin and wispy and barely there like gold spider silk, one end is rooted so deeply in his mind it’s a wonder he hasn’t sensed it before. The other, is in Kylo Ren. He tugs on it expecting it to break, but it holds fast.

“What is this?” he asks sharply.

He hears the latches of the mask release and the thump as it lands on the ground. “That’s our training bond”

Hux’s eyes snap open in alarm, “What do you mean _bond_?”

“We are connected in the force, barely, but in time it will grow. This is not a bad thing”

The man across from him seems perfectly calm at the notion of being bonded together. It takes a few moments for him to formulate a response, opening and closing his mouth between attempts. They meditate together a few times and now they’re bonded? “I hate you” he admits, “More than anything.” And it’s true, he’s never felt hate like this before. The republic were weak minded fools and so is the resistance, but he doesn’t hate them, not really. His aim is not to destroy them per say, his aim is to insure that the First Order may fulfill their primary objective and in order for the first order to fulfill their primary objective he must destroy the resistance. However, his misgivings with Ren aren’t political, they’re personal.

Ren offers him a small smile “I know”

“Can it be broken?”

“Not with intent. You can’t force a bond to be made and you can’t force it to be broken, it’s purely reactionary”

“Well how do I get it to react?”

“If you can figure that out and break our bond, I’ll tell the Supreme Leader I believe your training to be sufficient”

“You don’t think I can do it” he says after a moment of looking into Ren’s amused eyes

“No, I don’t”

“I’m smarter than you”

“Not in this you aren’t”

“No you misunderstand, I am more intelligent than you. You may be more knowledgeable of the force but my problem solving skills are the best in the Order”

“Oh?”

“You’ve always underestimated me Ren” he sneers “but it is no matter, I will be free of you soon enough”

 

Hux comes back to himself an undisclosed amount of time after he fell into a meditative state. The sun has moved slightly across the sky but he has no idea how long a rotation takes for this planet. However any length of time longer than five minutes is impressive for him. He starts ripping up tufts of grass and looks over at Ren sitting across from him; his eyes are closed and he’s bare-chested.  He lets his eyes roam over the man’s form, taking in his sculpted abdomen and arms and his chest. Many things mar his pale skin, most noticeable is the black ink peaking from around his lower left rib with the rest of the tattoo facing away from him.

Ren isn’t his type. Hux goes for quiet intellectuals, those who silently contemplate in dark corners. But he cannot deny his attraction to power. His first liaison after he ran to the outer rim to join the First Order was with one of its highest ranking members, she was an admiral in the Old Empire and was present at the Order’s inception.  She carried herself in a way that let everyone in the room know she could order their deaths and the deaths of their families and of their planets. Hux was instantly enthralled.

But Ren _is_ power. And the way he destroyed those droids at the temple, he couldn’t deny he was impressed. And Fuck if he wasn’t huge; huge hands, huge mouth, huge legs, huge…maybe everything. Also his voice could be described as pleasant.

“Is there something you need general?”

Hux quickly moves his gaze from the man’s crotch back up to face where he finds Ren looking at him in a contemplative manner. He doesn’t let the fact that the Knight probably has an idea of what he was just thinking bother him, instead he deflects with another question “What is that thing anyway?” he says, motioning to the box in front of him.

Ren perks up at its mention and turns it over in his hands again and again, not taking his eyes off of it even as he speaks “It’s a holocron” he says reverently “Force users stored in these knowledge and lessons. This one belonged to Sheev Palpatine”

“Emperor Palpatine?” He scoots a bit closer on his knees and looks at the box with renewed interest. “Do you know how to open it?” he asks after a moment.

Ren nods but just keeps inspecting it.

“Well are you going to?” Hux says impatiently

“I was ordered not to”

Hux deflates completely, sitting back on his bottom with his knees in his chest, watching Ren. Then his eyes widen in realization. “You want to open it” he whispers accusingly, as if it was some dirty secret.

“Don’t you?”

His mouth hangs open in surprise. It’s not the same thing, Hux respects the Supreme Leader and his decisions, but Ren views Snoke as his maker. To disobey him would be impious, something like blasphemy and he would never think Ren capable of that, never in a million years.

“We should go, our mission is done and I’ve already been away too long” he says, afraid of what will happen if they stay, if the Knight would do something stupid and get them both in trouble.

Ren grunts and shakes himself out of his trance “Yes” he says as he pulls his robes back on.

Hux stands and looks out over the cliff one more time at the creature-less planet below, _the dead are still here_. Then he follows the other man back to the shuttle.

\--

The door to his private quarters slides open to reveal a fully armored and armed Phasma, Hux looks up from his papers and rises from his desk to greet her. “Captain, I ought to make you go outside and try that again. Next time knock.”

“General” She comes to a stop in the middles of the room a few feet from him, “I was surprised to hear of your impromptu mission with Kylo Ren, was it enlightening?”

Hux rolls his eyes “More like troublesome, Drink?”

Phasma shakes her head and steps closer “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Ren lately, and you haven’t been to the gym in a while”

_Ah…_

He and Phasma had a sort of agreement, more like an unwritten contract. They were integral to each other’s successes within the Order and have been together for years, she’s his most trusted companion. Their loyalties are to each other. And they honor that contract with sweat and blood and sometimes pleasure, and he’s been neglecting his duties. He hasn’t told her about his force sensitivity, he will, just not yet.

“Orders from Snoke” he explains “I’m afraid it can’t be helped”

“Are you fraternizing with him?”

“Of course not, I hate him you know that”

“People see us as a triumvirate you know”

“Nothing has changed” he lies “it’s you and me, as always”

“I don’t trust him on his own, but with you I think he can be an asset”

They look at each other for a moment then she walks, or more like marches past him to the bedroom. Hux follows. Her gun is leaning against the wall next to the bed for easy access; she strips out of her armor and piles it neatly in the arm chair. He looks at her as he undresses himself, her hair is sweaty and plastered to her face, it’s longer now on the top but still tapered on the sides.

“I like your hair like that” he offers

“I took your advice, about looking smart out of the armor”

He nods in agreement, folding his clothes away and climbing onto the bed, watching her get naked from his place and tugging on his cock lightly. This couldn’t have come at a better time honestly, he’s been…frustrated. Ever since the revelation of his attraction to Ren, the General has been drowning in it. For one thing the knight always left barely an inch between their bodies, as usual, but lately Hux couldn’t help but breathe the other man in. He smelled like spice and heat and it was all of a sudden pleasing, and he found himself raking up and down his shrouded form more and more often. It was embarrassing. But it’s been a while since his last intimate encounter, even with his own hand, his sex drive was on a much appreciated hiatus until it was awakened on that planet.

Phasma climbs on the bed and drags him down so that he’s flat on his back, she’s stronger than him and that makes his cock twitch in his hand. His tongue peaks out and runs over his lower lip as she crawls up his body slowly, leaving little bites and sucks on his legs and hip and stomach. She comes to his nipple and catches it with a quick swipe, then blows cool air over it, causing his breath to hitch slightly. She continues until she’s up on her knees with her strong thighs next to his ears, keeping her heady prize above his face but out of reach, he tries in vain to stretch up but she keeps him down.

Finally, she lowers her hips to meet the Generals mouth and she was already wet. He moans and immediately curls his hands over her thighs, licking slow broad strips between her folds. She slides a hand through his hair and tugs softly, cooing at him as he applies more pressure with his tongue. He loves this and he’s good at it; it’s one of his favorite things in the world. He sucks at the sensitive little nub, causing her hips to surge and the hand in his hair to tighten, pulling another moan from him. His mouth and tongue start working furiously, ripping from her, her pleasure. And she’s loud now above him, undulating her hips and riding his mouth, spilling slick all down his chin.

“Hux” she breathes and looks down at the man between her legs.

They lock eyes, and Hux mischievously slows his movements, mouth curling against her in a sly smile. She throws her head back in frustration then removes herself from his face, moving down to straddle his hips. He tries to follow her blindly but she pushes him back. She slides her spread folds against his neglected cock, which is now hard and curved against his belly. They rock like that for a moment, eyes closed and mouths open, seeking the sweet friction, before Phasma grasps him tightly and brings him to her opening, and taking him in, in one quick movement.

Hux arches his back and sucks in a breath of surprise. It’s been so so long since he’s been in something so wet, soft and hot, and it’s so good it makes his toes curl. Phasma usually prefers to fuck him with her (not so little) toy but this is a welcome change. He places his hands on her hips as she starts to move, first in little circles, grinding down on him with their hips flush, then in controlled up and down motions, a testament to the strength in her legs and lower body. Hux simply lies there and pants, letting her take control. She likes being in control, but as the minutes drag on he starts to forget that and so does she. She’s practically bouncing now and Hux moves his hands up her body to her breasts, enjoying the feel of them and thumbing her erect nubs, causing her to let out a groan.

He can’t take it anymore, he grabs her by the hips and starts thrusting up hard, grunting as he watches his cock disappear into her body. Her fingers reach down and she rubs herself, her mouth falls open but no sound comes out for a long moment and her eyes roll back into her head before she lets out whine and falls forward onto his chest, convulsing with the powerful shocks that zap through her body. He keeps fucking her through her orgasm and he’s close now, but Phasma rolls off him, denying him her heat and he growls in protest.

He immediately tries to stroke himself, but she knocks his hand away and opens his nightstand, searching around for something. He falls back and stares up at the ceiling, and groans low when he feels a tongue run up the underside of his cock. She does that a couple of times then starts mouthing at the head, blowing hot air over it. He spreads his legs wider, folding them at the knee and runs his fingers through her hair over and over. She takes him into her mouth completely, and nuzzles her nose against the soft hairs at his base. He lets out a tight moan and she pulls off of him only to do it again and again after that, making an obscene noise when his tip breaches and exits her throat. Her mouth is very red and dripping with saliva and her eyes are wet from choking on his cock, he thinks she’s beautiful like this. She strokes him a few times, then he feels two fingers circle his entrance then enter him slowly, her mouth inching back down at the same pace.

“Oh fuck” he breathes.

His voice is wrecked and his head his thrown back exposing his neck as he tries grind down on those beautiful intrusions. She starts to bob her head and move her fingers, curling and thrusting them into him. His vision goes spotty and he tries to thrust up into her hot mouth and down onto her fingers. She ghosts over his prostate and then he’s coming before he can even say anything, it racks through him, his back arched, toes curled, eyes and mouth open but unseeing and emitting no sound. She pulls off and lets his release land on her face and in her hair as she sucks at his sack and presses against his prostate, milking him, making it last just a bit too long. Hux lets out a little whimper and falls back to the bed, completely empty and sated, eyes drooping already.

Phasma rests her head against his thigh and runs a thumb over his hip bone as he lies there, trying to regain his breath. Before he gets too comfortable and fell asleep, he untangles himself and goes into the fresher. He runs a wet cloth over his body, removing any concentrated area of sweat or stickiness, then returns to the bed with another for his companion, she accepts it and runs it over her face and hair and between her thighs and hands it back to Hux who throws it in the laundry bin.

He helps her back into her armor, clasping the pieces back into place and draping her cape over her shoulder as he always does after these sessions, making sure she looks impeccable before throwing on a pair of pants himself. He walks over to the other side of his bed and retrieves her blaster carrying it out to the greeting room for her.

“Captain” he says as he hands it over

“When will you debrief me about the situation between you and Ren” she says bluntly, knowing he’s keeping something important from her

“Soon, I promise. Now get out” he says lightly but completely seriously.

The glint off her armor has an accusatory edge, but she offers a “General” and thumbs the controls, looking back once more before exiting the room.

He sits at his desk and resumes his work.

\--

He’s standing in a hallway on some sort of transport ship, it looks old and imperial. There are many doors on either side, and the floor is a grate, showing the underbelly. Hux walks through it aimlessly for a while before he hears a soft raspy sound and he follows it to a door, behind it are the sounds of modulating breathing. He goes to thumb the controls when a voice interrupts him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you”

He turns to see a handsome man a few years older than him, leaning casually on the wall across from him. “Han Solo” he says

“Something like that”

He turns back to the door, the breathing was starting to get heavier and louder “Why not?” he asks

The other man shrugs “do what you want” and starts walking away.

Hux follows after him “why are you here?”

“I’m always here, I don’t think I can be anywhere else”

He leads then to a door that slides to reveal a planet side room, the windows are open and Hux can smell the sea. He looks back and the metal apparatus they came through is replaced with a wooden one.  There’s a large unmade bed on the far side, with white sheets and a worn hand woven blanket, and a desk at which Solo now sat. He motions for Hux to take a seat and he complies, moving to the bed. Every surface holds some sort of children’s toy or mechanical part, Hux picks up soft rubber ball and squeezes it, causing it to light up with reds, and oranges and yellows. It brings him a suspicious amount of pleasure and nostalgia.

“He regrets killing you” he informs the man and squeezes the ball again, this time it lights up blue and violet, causing him to squeal in delight.

“Oh you think so?” he sends Hux a look that he has seen many times on Ren.

“I know so”

“How?”

“I just do”

“Don’t tell me you’re into that hokey wizard stuff too”

“I’m not” he assures

“Hey who am I to talk? I married into it, willingly” Hux squeezes the toy again and again and Solo watches him with a thoughtful expression. “That was Ben’s favorite toy, before they—we—sent him away”

“Ben” he says, trying it out on his tongue. He knows that name, it feels nice saying it.

Suddenly the room starts to shake and there’s a loud banging coming from outside the door. Something was trying to get in.

“You should go” the smuggler says

“How do I do that?”

“If I knew do you think I’d still be here?”

Hux hesitates then reluctantly puts down the toy and tries to block everything out, closing his eyes and evening out his breaths.

 

He opens his eyes and sees the ceiling of his quarters. He sits up and rolls his neck, working out the familiar crick from falling asleep on the couch.

The bond was getting stronger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to find the Star Wars equivalent to Jesus Fucking Christ but I can't (I already use 'fuck' instead of 'kriff' but it just sounds too stupid and my Hux has a potty mouth) Comment if you some ideas and please tell me what yo think. Also thank you to everyone who already commented I really appreciate and love it so much. I'll also start replying to them. Thanks for reading.


	4. Technological Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d always prided himself on the fact that he got where he was, through his own strength and wit, but he’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for his force abilities.... Maybe it was time to accept this “gift” that had been dumped on him, it would indeed be foolish to ignore a tool out of spite.

He’s using the sonic when he feels it, the malevolent presence approaching, it was already in his room, stalking its way silently through the bedroom, soon to reach the fresher.

 

Hux doesn’t question how he knows, doesn’t think to before quickly stepping out of the stall. He flattens himself against the cool wall next to the door and out of immediate view, making note to keep a weapon and communicator in ALL of his rooms, but for now he makes due. Sucking in a deep fortifying breath, he watches as the intruder steps through the doorway, then uses his small advantage to slam into them; together, they collide into the adjacent wall, grappling for the blaster in the assailant’s hand. Hux manages to land a couple of blows but they’re all absorbed by the stormtrooper armor the intruder is covered in, a stark contrast to Hux’s own completely nude state.

The intruder gains the upper hand and cracks the butt of the blaster against his temple, sending Hux sprawling onto the floor. Hux fights through the feeling of cotton stuffed in his head and rolls onto his back in time to see the fuzzy figure in the doorway lift the muzzle into position; his hand shoots out in front of him, just as the trigger is about to be pulled, and the weapon flies out of the assailant’s grip and lands somewhere in the other room.

They both pause, staring at the space where the blaster had just occupied, removed, seemingly by some phantom force. Hux recovers first and tackles the intruder through the doorway and onto the bedroom floor, he goes to take off the helmet, knowing all his punching and grappling is useless if the intruder cannot feel it, but is stopped with a knee slamming into his exposed groin and causing tears to spring to his eyes, making him howl in pain. He’s still clutching at himself as he’s flipped onto his back, the intruder straddles Hux’s legs, pinning them down as they pull out a knife.

Hux crosses him arms out in front of him and braces them against the hand holding the blade, less than an inch from his face, but gravity is not on side and the assailant is bearing down with all of their weight. Hux’s face is completely red and the veins in his neck are clearly visible, his teeth are clenched from the exertion. He knows he won’t last long like this, so he takes a gamble.

He removes one of his arms from beneath the assailant’s body, allowing the blade to surge forward and imbed itself into Hux’s cheek but only a few centimeters before Hux slides his hand between the helmet and the chest plate, and jabs the intruder viciously in the throat. The intruder wraps their hands around the small opening and staggers to their feet gasping, Hux pulls the blade from his face and follows after them. The space between the leg and groin plates of the armor are the largest so that’s where he sinks the knife, then takes their own helmet and bludgeons them until their eyes roll back, and they drop to the floor.

Hux joins them soon after, he slides down the wall in exhaustion while he sucks in desperate, dry breaths, making his throat and lungs burn. He can feel his heart beating in his toes, and waits until it leaves his ears before going to his bedside table. The message he sends out is short and only to his most trusted officers.

_Come Now._

Just a minute later he hears the door to his quarters slide open, then Phasma, a flushed and exerted lieutenant Mitaka, and Kylo Ren (whom he didn’t invite) all crowd into his bedroom, staring at the man on the floor.

“There has been an attempt on my life,” he huffs out as he dabs a cloth against the wound on his face.

Ren looks up at him sharply. Hux can feel what’s coming next, and suspects Phasma and Mitaka can too by the way they tense and move off to the side. The knight calmly turns and exists the room, then the sound of plasma destroying Hux’s foyer rings out.

“Is he alive?” Hux motions to the body on the floor, ignoring what was happening in the next room. There are more important things to worry about.

Phasma pulls off a gauntlet and bends down, placing two fingers below the man’s nose, “yes.”

“Good,” he says, “get him to med-bay now, I want armed guards on him at all times and keep me updated on his status. I also want new controls on my room, preferably ones that cannot be overridden by a fairly competent technician; and new…whatever he’s ruining.”

Phasma continues to gaze at the man on the floor, he’s not as tall as Hux but he’s bulkier. He’s got a square jaw that is covered in light stubble and dark hair buzzed close to his scalp, “I don’t recognize him,” she says.

“He’s no trooper, look at that knife,” Hux points out, it’s definitely not standard issue.

There is no way an assassin got on board the _Finalizer_ without help from a very high ranking and/or powerful member of the crew. His first suspect was Ren, and that this was meant to be some fucked up test, but he’d been forced to abandon that after the Knights reaction. It would have been easier if Ren was behind this, now they have to start an investigation. He watches as the med-evac droids lift the unconscious form onto a stretcher and push him carefully out of the room.

“I’ll put a detail on you and your rooms, just until this mess is sorted out,” Phasma says.

“It was an assailant in Stormtrooper armor that was allowed to get so close to the general in the first place,” Ren states flatly. He walks in like he hadn’t just returned from throwing a tantrum and should still be taken seriously.

“And what would you suggest, Lord Ren?” She asks in a way that makes it clear she does not care to know.

“That the General take a shore leave until we find those responsible.”

Hux shakes his head in disbelief, “I assure you, that is far from necessary or beneficial in any way.” He turns to Phasma, “go ahead with the detail.”

She clicks her heals together and leaves to do as she’s told.

Ren, who’s been prowling around the scene, points to the one piece of armor left lying on the floor, “that helmet is tagged, SW-1977.”

Mitaka quickly enters the information in and reads from his data-pad, “SW-1977 reported for duty today and is currently scheduled for a rest shift.”

“Have the entire SW unit brought in for questioning, I want to conduct it myself.” Hux orders.

Mitaka gives an affirmative but becomes visibly shaken when Ren crosses in front of him to pick up the helmet. Taking pity, Hux dismisses him, and the young man speed walks out his quarters.

Hux walks back to the fresher, most his personal products are knocked onto the floor and there are little droplets of blood on the wall and where he fell down from the wound on his head. The adrenaline is wearing off and the pain starts to flare up

He opens his medical kit and takes out the disinfectant, then leans over the counter and carefully applies it to the wounds in the mirror, first the gash in his cheek then to the superficial one at his temple. The one on his cheek requires a bacta bandage which he’ll have to go to med-bay for, he briefly entertains the notion of letting it scar like Ren’s, but it would be too small to make an appropriate impression.

“I want to be present when you interrogate the SW unit” Ren says as he enters the room and stops to stand behind him.

Hux looks at the reflection of the masked man briefly, before continuing his machinations. “In the room?”

“Yes.”

Hux considers it, they’ll be less inclined to lie with him present. “Fine, but I don’t want you to hurt them unless you think their hiding something. And no killing or maiming, we have reconditioning for a reason.”

\--

 

“SW-1983” Hux says to the young woman across from him.

The room they’re in is much less torture-y than the ones they use to interrogate dissidents, but it’s intimidating nonetheless. Everything is duristeel, the walls, the floors, the table, and the very uncomfortable chairs. The overhead lamp was more a spotlight, focused on the victim, blinding them, and leaving the interrogators barely visible.

“Yes, sir” her voice is steady unlike the previous SW trooper they spoke with. However, her eyes flick nervously between the General who’s sitting across the table from her and the outline of a silent black figure in the corner.

“When did you last see SW-1977?”

“While we were on patrol, during C shift, sir.”

He notes down her responses, and doesn’t look up as he continues.

“Do you know where he was headed afterwards?”

“He said he was going to the mess.”

Before Hux can pose the next question Ren takes two long strides over to them and leans his hands on the table, towering over the poor girl. “He was acting weird, how?”

The trooper is clearly thrown off by having her thoughts spoken back to her but she composes herself quickly, “Y-yes, well, we were supposed to meet with Primer, PO-0001, in the east rec room, and when I asked him about it he said he would meet us there but then he never showed up.”

“Did he seem different to you?” Hux asks

She nods her head earnestly, “he barely spoke a word, even to me. It was beyond weird.”

“When was the last time you saw him without a helmet?”

“Right before we started out on patrol, but he was fine then.”

“Were you two separated at any point after that? Did he break off from the group?”

She starts to shake her head slowly “No, I don’t think so. Well, there was this banging coming from one of the laundry rooms, we went in to investigate but there was so much steam we could hardly see anything.”

“Which room?” Ren demands

“um…07-14…2, I think?” She says uncertainly, then adds very quickly, “It turned out to be nothing, else we would have written up a report.”

\--

It wasn’t nothing.

 

“You need to leave-“

“Not this again” he says as he rubs his sore face with his hands.

 “This wasn’t the act of some disgruntled worker Hux, it’s a CABAL, one that’s invested a lot of time and effort into killing you.”

SW-1977 entered the steam press room with the rest of his unit, but he did not make it out, because he was the unfortunate soul chosen by the infiltrator. And so he was killed, two feet from his comrades with a weapon that shouldn’t exist. A weapon that was thinner than the eye could see, and pierced through Stormtrooper armor so cleanly it took minutes to find the entry point, and then into his heart. And then the assailant swapped his untagged helmet for ‘77’s and joined the ranks in his place. Another point of interest because Stormtrooper helmets were tagged during the manufacturing process and it’s impossible to remove; not difficult, not very, very difficult, impossible.

“I know. But killing me is only part of their plan, think about it. Would you go through all this trouble for one general? This has the beginnings of a coup, removing me from the equation is exactly what they want.”

“That is a risk we may have to take.”

“I’m not abandoning this ship, Ren. Besides they clearly underestimate me.”

He latches onto that, “you used the force today, I felt it.”

“Can I have a drink?” Hux asks from where he’s sprawled on the couch, watching Ren pace slowly in front of him. He doesn’t want to talk about this.

“No.”

“I deserve it. I’ve been through quite a lot today,” he says in a bitchy tone.

“You didn't seem too perturbed at the time. You weren't angry or frightened, just focused; I thought you were training. I didn't know anything was wrong until I saw that mouse of yours run from the bridge.”

“But you couldn't feel me getting pistol whipped?”

“Our bond isn't strong enough for that yet.” He says matter-of-factly.

Hux thinks about the odd dream he had but doesn't bring it up, deciding to keep it to himself for now. “It felt like new instinct, I just reached out my hand and the blaster went flying out of his.”

He’d always prided himself on the fact that he got where he was, through his own strength and wit, but he’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for his force abilities, found naked in the sonic. How embarrassing. Maybe it was time to accept this “gift” that had been dumped on him, it would indeed be foolish to ignore a tool out of spite.

Ren nods his head, then picks up a holocomm and places it on the low beverage table in front of the couch. “Do it again.”

Hux frowns at the square piece of machinery for a second, “how?” he asks.

“However you did it before.”

He doesn’t know how he did it before but he tries anyway. He reaches an arm out and focuses on the object intently. Nothing happens immediately, so Hux erases the existence of everything else from his mind, leaving only the object before him. It shivers and shakes, then starts sliding slowly over the table wildly. He tries to reign in his concentration only for it to be broken when he’s hit square in the jaw by one of his books.

He whips around to face Ren, eyes and mouth open wide in incredulous offense. Holding his cheek, he picks up the projectile from where it landed next to him and waves it at the other man. “Do you know how old this is? What is wrong with you, I was doing as you asked.”

“Barely, it took all your attention and you couldn’t even lift it. You were completely vulnerable.”

“Someone tried to kill me today” Hux reminds him.

“All the more reason to continue your training.”

“By throwing shit at me? Is that how Skywalker taught you?”

“Yes” he admits, “though he used pebbles instead, an advantage to being planetside.”

Hux falls silent, hand still clutching his jaw as he looks up into Ren’s glassy eyes. The knight is standing there calm, like the subject of his past wasn’t just brought up, it fills him with unease. “I know how to make the bond go away” he says, just to change the topic.

The knight slides in front of him and sits on the low table, “tell me.”

“I have to stop feeling things for you. I have to stop hating you.”

“This is the true challenge, have you made any progress?”

_no_

“I’ve never let something like personal feelings get in my way” his voice is steely.

Ren huffs, “you would have made a good Jedi.”

Hux knows this isn’t a compliment.

“They too dismissed their emotions” he continues, “but not letting them control you and not feeling them are two very different things, even the Jedi knew this was too much to ask.”

“But it’s not impossible.”

“No, it’s impossible,” Kylo confirms.

“So you’re saying the bond cannot be broken” he says flatly.

“I’m saying only if it is the will of the force.”

_Same thing_

“So why lead me to believe I could? You said if I broke it you would let me go.”

“I wanted you to understand the futility of fighting against this, that there is no letting go, and that I’m just as bound as you are,” he takes the old tome from Hux’s hand and starts flipping through the pages.

“I should have let you die with Starkiller” he says, “and be careful with that it may be the last in its existence.”

“What language is this?” Ren runs his fingers along the thick white swoops of the characters and glyphs.

“Gunvstun” he says perfectly, “It’s long dead.”

Ren doesn’t say anything but continues to look through it with interest.

“It’s a book of truisms written by an advisor to Anlieve-Bto themselves” he adds, showing off just a little bit.

It’s for naught, as Ren lets out with a snort “you believe in Anlieve-Bto?”

Hux is a picture of surprised affront, his mouth open, eyebrows almost to his hairline, and a pale hand rests over his heart. “You say that as if their existence is up to debate.”

“All there are, are myths and legends.”

He wasn’t very wrong, but they were good stories. Hux remembers reading them over and over when he was a child, stories about the greatest conqueror ever known. They lived sometime before the illumination age, and during their estimated 500-year life span, Bto took control over almost the entire known galaxy. Before bacta and durasteel; when they still stained dead surfaces with ink. Hux always thought if Bto could do it, then so could he.

“I never took you for a man of faith,” Ren continues.

“I’m not.”

“Putting confidence in something without fact, is faith.”

“There are institutions dedicated to the scientific study of Bto.”

“Oh?” Ren doesn’t seem convinced, “and what are they trying to find?”

Hux turns up his nose haughtily, “many things, like Bto’s actual name.”

“They haven’t found the name yet?” the expression on Ren’s face is closest to mirth Hux had ever seen it, but was actually something more like teasing, and mild interest.

“No, scribes refused to record it, out of respect probably. What we use is just a popular honorific, of which finding the meaning of would be the biggest discovery yet.”

“Surely there are other, more pressing questions, like how he accomplished all his supposed feats.”

Hux leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees and brings the pad of his thumb to his lips “Do you know what Anlieve-Bto translates to in Basic? It’s literally ‘perennial burst of light.’ It seems like nonsense but it’s not, it meant something to billions and billions of people; and if we figure out that something, many other truths will come. The names we earn are indicative of many things, jedi killer.”

“I suppose, technological scourge.”

They’re sitting very close now, leaning in towards each other Hux realizes; his knees are bracketed by the other man’s. He wishes there was a mask between them, it was no small thing to be observed by Kylo Ren, to have his eyes on you, to be the subject of his focus, and if Hux has learned anything from these sessions it’s the power of focus. Ren doesn’t look like he’s teasing anymore.

Something invisible captures Ren’s attention and breaks the hold he had on Hux, allowing him to slump back against the couch. Ren goes to retrieve his helmet and exits the rooms without so much as a word. Hux waits a few minutes then goes to his mini cantina and selects a crystal decanter filled with pungent blue liquid. He pours a finger into a matching crystal tumbler, then after some deliberation pours another and sits in the high backed chair behind his desk, taking slow sips.

He doesn’t have time for a drinking problem, but his father did; and so did the wife of his father, and so does his brother. Hux knows that if somehow he were stripped of everything, this would become his knew best friend. But there were pills for that these days, so he drinks.

He was bonded to Ren until the force decided otherwise, and if the dream was any indication they were about to get much more entangled with one another.

He didn't kid himself, he knew it was very possible that the knight already knew of Hux's attraction to him, but up he gave no indication that he cared. And that was fine. Hux knew he wasn't what many would describe as good looking, most of his liaisons are attributed to his status, or indifference in his partners towards whatever was being used for their pleasure. In addition, he knew the potential complications that could occur from any sort of arrangement between them, and that was exacerbated by the training he was currently undergoing.

Hux wonders how he ever planned to stop hating the other man when he couldn't even get rid of the base attraction he held for him. He'd never thought of Ren as a sexual being prior to the training, probably because he'd never seen his face, but also because force users seemed to ascribe to a higher, more removed state of being. And their focus was such that something like flesh and seeking flesh seemed like it would be little more than a distraction. Maybe Ren and his knights would get it removed if they could, maybe some of them already have.

 

\---

Phasma interrupts him while he's meditating; he heard the repetitive chiming of the bell to quarters and was snapped out of trance. He meditates regularly now, if only to avoid having to do it with the knight pressed against his back. He rises from his place on the floor and opens the outer.

"General, we've been unable to reach you" she greets as she enters the room.

He closes the clasps on his outer shirt, "I wasn't to be disturbed."

"There's a situation in med-bay that requires your immediate attention."

 

The assassin was dead. Hux walks into the grisly scene of the prisoner medical quarters. The body is lying slumped against the upright cot, the plain white medical clothes were stained red with blood, which seemed to still be pouring from the open wound in the neck.

"Where were the guards?" He demands.

"At their posts right outside," Phasma says

"So how did this happen?"

Plasma motions to the deactivated medical droid in the corner "we believe that is the perpetrator, sir. When we found it, it was sanitizing the instrument used to kill the prisoner.”

It’s a medical droid’s prime directive to save people, to heal them, it’s intrinsic in their programming. To alter that would be grueling to say the least.

"Who's come into contact with it since?"

"No one but me."

"Good, help me take this back to my quarters, I need to study it" he says, and moves towards the droid.

Phasma hands her blaster to Hux, and hefts around double his body weight of hard metal into her arms. He did not know she could do that.

 

He's just about to start taking the thing apart when he gets an incoming transmission, the sender is unknown but very few have access to his private channel. He steps onto the holo-pad and the projector facing it flares to life, showing a blue, life size, Kylo Ren.

He begins immediately, wasting no time. "General, I've been informed of the recent security breach, The Supreme Leader agrees that-"

"You've already spoken with Snoke? I've only just found out, how were you informed before me? Who's your source?" It beyond irks him that there are officers onboard that answer to Ren, who isn't even an official member of the First Order, before Hux himself.

Ren ignores his questions, "you're scheduled for shore leave effective immediately."

As soon as Hux hears the word shore, he starts throwing out objections, drowning out the rest, "No no no no, that is not necessary, Ren; I told you that wasn't necessary."

"These are orders from the Supreme Leader himself, it's not up to debate."

Hux balls his fists tightly by his side. This doesn't make sense. He's a good general and an asset to the Order, but he's not irreplaceable. Unless his successor proves to be wildly incompetent, the order would suffer no great loss at his death. "What did you tell him, really?" He sneers

Ren avoids his question yet again, "you're not to return to active duty until the matter has been sorted. One of my Knights will arrive within 24 standard hours to escort you off the ship-"

"Fuck you Ren" He spits angrily

"-Do not leave your rooms until then," and the feed cuts out.

Hux stands there for a second, staring at the star-ship grey of the opposite wall. then his lips start quivering even while he's takes deep stabilizing breaths, and he does something he hasn't done in a very long time...he throws a tantrum. A destructive, childish, very Kylo Ren like, tantrum. It wasn't just being robbed of his ship, it was everything. It was the force, it was having decisions made for him like he was a child, it was being under the control of a man whom he hated with every fiber of his being. And this time he couldn't will the emotions down, they bubbled up and over and out, onto the innocent bystander that was his very orderly antechamber. He smashes data-pads against the walls, rips up comm units, overturns furniture like a rampaging bantha. And he screams; he screams bloody murder.

After he brings his frustration down to a manageable level, he stands in the middle of the destruction and breathes heavily. He's not alone he realizes, and turns to find three Stormtroopers standing frozen by the door with their blasters lowered.

"What?" He asks lowly.

He looks like he swallowed a storm. His hair has escaped its normal coiffure and is now loose and wild. The top of his crisp white shirt is undone, revealing his heaving chest and a deep flush that spreads up to his face. The troopers suddenly remember that this is the most dangerous man on the ship, and they now feel less like protectors and more like the first obstacle, intended only to weed out the weak and leave the challenges to Hux himself.

GTO-0042 composes himself and offers up an explanation, "we wanted to ensure you were unharmed. Do you require assistance?" he says levelly.

Hux waves them away and starts picking through the mess, looking for an intact data-pad, "I'm fine."

0042 signals for the other two to return to their posts, leaving him and the General alone. Hux finds what he's looking for and sits down on the dark burgundy carpet, with his back against the pushed over desk. He looks at the lone armored figure standing in his room and tenses at the familiarity of it, the trooper maybe picks up on it as he immediately removes his helmet.

 _He's lovely_ , Hux thinks.

His almond eyes are dark and sincere, and his brown skin is glowing even after having spent the last few years in the cold darkness of space. Thick, ink black hair that curls slightly at the ends, falls past his ears.

Troopers are allowed to wear their hair any way they want as long as it didn't show from underneath the helmet. This was unheard of in any military organization, from back water militia, to the clone army. And by the same logic, Stormtroopers should be allowed to mark or pierce their skin as they please because it would be hidden at all times, but this wasn't the case. The first order owned their minds and bodies; hair was nothing, and so that's what Hux gave them.

The trooper’s mouth is wide and inviting, surrounded by dark, plush lips. Yes, he is lovely, but Hux had no use for loveliness, and 0042 was much more than aesthetically pleasing.

Most found it easy to forget that there were people beneath those helmets, and that was the point of them, and of uniforms and uniformity, to subdue individuality. But individuality could never completely be erased, and where others accepted it as an inescapable impediment, the genius Brendol Hux capitalized on it. So that when an enemy is in combat with Stormtroopers, they also find themselves in combat with individuals, and GTO-0042 was an individual with hand-to-hand combat skills that could take down a Wookie.

“Sir, I may have information pertaining to your investigation. There are some discrepancies among the detail for the prisoner, as to when they were meant to start their shift and when they were meant to be relieved. They add up to at least two hours of lost time”

_So that’s how they got to the droid_

“That is indeed pertinent, thank you for bringing it to my attention.”

He cocks his delightful head to the side and gazes at the General, “I can’t understand why anyone in the Order would want to kill you, you’re an excellent leader”

“You think the party responsible is a member of the First Order?” he says, ignoring the compliment.

“Without a doubt, sir”

Hux raises a contemplating eyebrow, “what do they call you?”

“My designation is-“

“No, I mean your colleagues” he clarifies, “what do they call you?”

“I go by Hiker”

“Why Hiker?”

“I have no idea,” he gives a sly smile that’s infectious enough to make Hux’s eyes soften a bit.

The boy takes this as an invitation to sit, and chooses a spot across from Hux on the floor. “You’re younger than I first thought,” he observes.

He’s being too familiar, but he was a member of Phasma’s elite group, that made him special and he knew it. Besides, Hux did look more his age now, sitting on the floor of his trashed room with his chin resting on a bent knee, and fringe falling into his eyes.

“It’s the greatcoat” he says dryly while scrolling through his data-pad. He shouldn’t be encouraging him, but everything was going to shit and he just didn’t feel like playing the big bad.

“It’s more than that, it’s everything you do. Aren’t you proud you made General so young?”

He shakes his head, “I am grateful I suppose, that I have more time to do what is necessary than most people in my position.”

His answer amuses Hiker, “How virtuous of you” he says sardonically, “and yet so powerful. That’s a bit of an oxymoron isn’t it? Sir.”

He could destroy this child, fuck the recalcitrance right out of him and he’d thank him for it. It’s what he wants, or what he thinks he wants and Hux is willing to oblige because Hiker is competent, and talented, and he’ll be gone for who knows how long anyway.

But he doesn’t, because some very smart people are trying to kill him and he needs to focus on that.  “Power in the right hands, even absolute power, can be advantageous for all. The First Order was built on this principle.”

Then he starts putting everything in order for his imminent departure, but as he passes Hiker, he runs a suggestive hand through his hair. He never slept with one of his stormtroopers, it seemed wrong, but he remembers being young and talented, and the rush he felt, flirting with a very senior officer, knowing he could be thrown out the air lock for insubordination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. Thanks to everyone who gave kudos and commented even after months.
> 
> Please tell me what you think


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